8. Losing You (Full Chapter) - Flashback

*hope this is okay guys, thanku for the comments people left on the sneak peek :) OH and this is uber important! I forgot to label the last chapter a "Flashback" one so of course this chapter is a flashback still! :o*

"Would you stop?"

"No."

"Drake I'm tryna get this done before your parents get back. Go do somethin' useful." She swatted him away causing him to remove his arms from around her and stand tall again.

"Like what? Tell me what to do."

"Well, I'on know. You could go clean that disgusting pit up downstairs. I ain't sleepin' in there if you don't." She shrugged and continued wiping down the kitchen counters. Her four month bump touching against the surface as she cleaned. It had been two months since she found out she was pregnant and they were taking things slowly. Nobody else apart from Lauren and Drake knew.

"Oh? And if I don't then where you gon' sleep?" He smirked and leant back against the kitchen table cockily.

"I'll find somewhere. Watch." Finishing up what she was doing she threw the cleaning cloth back under the sink and walked over to him. "I'm gonna go see Safaree later." She looked down at his shirt and pulled at the button as she thought.

"He still mad?"

"Yeah, well he ain't talkin' to me still. I hate that he's actin' so stupid."

"Just give him time, he'll come 'round. I hope." He whispered the last part into her hair as he kissed the top of her head. He could feel her bump touching him and stared down. "We won't be able to hide it much longer y'know?"

"I know, it's already kinda hard to be honest." She poked gently at the fabric stretched across her abdomen. Drake's parents had gone on holiday for a few days and they were supposed to return that afternoon, which meant Nicki would no longer be able to walk around in her tiny tees any more.

"I have to go out in a minute, you want me to grab us somethin' to eat?"

"Yes! Could you get-"

"No, I'm choosin'. You chose last time." He laughed when she straightened her face and went to hit him, luckily he dodged her tiny fist and scooped his phone and keys off of the table. "I'mma clean up as soon as I get back, promise." He kissed her sweetly before heading out. He never said where he was going though.

He sat in the car silently for a few minutes, he knew this was wrong but he desperately wanted to do it for Nicki and their baby. Getting a little extra cash here and there was really needed right now and with what he had in mind he figured doing a few favours for Deshaun would be okay. He hated that he was going behind her back but in the long-run it was for the best. He'd put down a deposit on an apartment but wanted to make sure he had enough money before he told her, it was a little dingy but it was somewhere they could call their own and not be disturbed every five minutes. Pulling out of the driveway he was sure at that moment in time it was the right decision to make.

***

Gracefully plopping down on to the couch Nicki exhaled loudly having finished cleaning up the mess from the last few days. Drake was supposed to be helping but he'd disappeared hours ago and still wasn't home. She hoped he was back before his parents though. Looking down at her now concealed bump she pondered silently to herself. She was absolutely terrified about this whole baby situation but as long as Drake was there she knew she'd be ok. They'd all be ok. Pulling her phone out she texted him and let him know she was going to see SB. He didn't reply. Getting together everything she needed she left, locking up behind her.

The subway was quite packed and she was more than relieved when she was off of it. Walking the last few blocks to his house she stood patiently at his door. There was no way in hell she'd come all this way for him to be out. Knocking again she huffed impatiently and buried her gloved fingers into her pockets.

"The fuck is he?" She stomped her foot a little and was about to turn around when she heard someone fiddling with the lock. It was Safaree.

"Oh it's you."

"Yeah, it is. Now could you let me in? It's fucking freezing out here." She was in no mood for his childish way of going about this situation. Storming past him she made it in to his warm house.

"Could you make it quick, I got things to do."

"No, I'm stayin' for however long we need to get this sorted."

"What sorted?"

"You! Actin' like a fucking spoilt kid Safaree!"

"Me? Nic, I ain't the one comin' stormin' into your house shoutin' and cussin'." She shut her eyes slowly and sat down on the couch.

"Look, I just want things back to normal. Me and you like we was before-"

"He showed up?" He spoke as he sat, catching her facial expression he waited for a response which he knew would be an angry one.

"Y'know what? I can't see what your issue with him is. Tell me, why don't you like him? He's only ever acted nice towards you so why can't you just do the same? Is it really that hard?" Her voice had started out harsh and full of anger but near the end of her sentence she'd gotten more quiet and she almost sounded hurt by his behaviour towards Drake.

"You really don't get it do you? He's no good Nic. The people he's around, the things he does. He's bad news." She noticed the softness of his voice and moved over to sit next to him.

"He was bad news. He's changed Safaree, he don't do any of that stuff anymore." Grabbing his hand she braced herself waiting for him to snatch away but he didn't.

"You really believe that?" He locked eyes with her as she nodded slowly.

"Yes and I wish you would too because If I had to choose between one of you I'on think I could." He quickly wrapped an arm around her hearing the tremor in her little voice.

"Nic, I ain't askin' you to choose. I just..." He trailed off hearing her soft sniffles. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know. But you not talkin' to me and ignorin' me like you have been, that hurt me. You're my best friend and I need you." She mimicked his action and secured her arm over his abdomen, hugging him back.

"I'm not leavin' you but undrestand that I'on like him and I'm not gon' act nice towards him and be all fake with it. I'll tolerate him, only because I don't want you to feel like this." He squeezed her shoulder as she let the last tear roll down her face.

"Thank you. That's all I want." They sat talking for ages like they used to until Safaree spoke up again.

"You want somethin' to eat?"

"Ugh I better not, Drake said he was gonna get us food but I'on know what time he was plannin' on actually gettin' back." They were now in SB's room laying on the bed as he played a video game.

"Aight."

"Can I play?"

"No."

"Why not? I'm good at this one!"

"No you're not and this is only one player, so keep your ass sat where you are Nicki."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes and sighed after yawning as she moved on to her side. He was still sat up against the headboard whereas she was laying as if about to go to sleep. Shuffling closer to him she used the top of his leg as a makeshift pillow and just lay still, watching him play. Within minutes she was breathing softly as she slept, he knew he shouldn't have let her lay down. Letting her sleep for a little longer he completed another level before shutting it off and watching her for a minute. He'd missed her so much and honestly he was glad she'd come around to talk to him. The air was finally cleared and he had his best friend back. He smiled as she furrowed her brow unconsciously before resting her hand over her stomach. Then he saw it.

When she woke she couldn't believe how long she'd snoozed for. She had read that for the first few months of pregnancy she would be tired but this was ridiculous. Quickly sitting up she checked her phone, there were five missed calls from Drake. 

"Shit." Noticing the time she looked up to find Safaree nowhere in sight. "Safaree?" She climbed off the bed and fixed her jumper before heading down the stairs. "SB?" Stopping dead in her tracks at the bottom of the stairs she looked at him sat on the couch. "Uhm, hello? I been shoutin' you. You gon' answer?" She laughed a little and moved over to him, he stayed silent. "Aight, the fuck is with you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you the only person in the freakin' room! Who else would I be speakin' to?" He tried to sit on the anger which was rising within him as he spoke again.

"Look, it's late I'on think you should be takin' the subway. Lemme drive you." He stood up and grabbed his keys catching a glimpse of her tiny well-hidden bump as he did so. Was she really around at his house making amends and still not spilling the truth? They were supposed to be best friends. He could but only wonder when she was even going to tell him. IF she was going to tell him.

The car was silent as Nicki was in deep thought about what could be wrong with Safaree now. She thought they'd fixed things but he was acting all moody and sulky again. In the driver's seat he was doing some thinking of his own. She was really about to start off with a lie, well not so much a lie but she certainly wasn't being completely honest with him.

"Could you please tell me what I'm supposed to have done this time?" Her gravelly voice snatched his attention as she continued to stare out of the window, her chin pressed firmly into her hand as she rested on herself.

"Nothin'. Whatever gave you that idea?" Suddenly snapping at his sarcastic answer she slammed her hand against the car door.

"Stop the car."

"Nicki-"

"No Safaree. Stop the car, now!" He shook his head and angrily and roughly pulled the wheel bringing them to the curb. "I'on have the time for this! I can walk from here." She scoffed before aggressively opening the door but before she could fully climb out she felt his hand around her wrist, yanking her back into the car. "The fuck Safaree?! You're hurting me!" Hearing that he let go quickly as she pulled her arm closer to herself.

"Shut your door."

"I told you I'm walking."

"Nicki, for once in your goddamn life would you just stop being so freaking stubborn?! Shut the door, I'm not about to let you walk back to his place. 'Specially in your condition."

"My condition?" He could feel her eyes burning into the side of his face.

"Oh come on Nicki! Don't act stupid! You know what I'm talkin' about! So when were you actually plannin' on tellin' me, huh? Before or after it was born?" There was silence as the cold air drifted through her open door. She was staring down at herself.

"You wanna know what's so crazy?" She was talking quietly, as if she was trying stop herself from crying. "I was gon' tell you earlier today but I knew you'd act like this and I was enjoyin' us bein' like we always used to be." Now twiddling with the toggles on her jumper it was his turn to talk. This time he sounded regretful as he spoke softly.

"I missed that too y'know?"

"Well then why do you keep on actin' like this Safaree?" She turned her gaze to him as he cut the engine.

"How am I s'posed to react? Nic, I just found out you're pregnant and I didn't even hear it from your mouth. What the hell are you even thinkin'? You're sixteen and you're actually keepin' it?" He figured that was the wrong thing to say as she jolted her head back. The look of hurt on her face was one he'd never seen before.

"Wow. That's really how you feel? That I should get rid of it?"

"Nic, I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did. How else would you have meant it?" She was right but he couldn't tell her that.

"Don't you understand that you're gonna throw away your whole life if you go through with this? If you have that baby, you'll be stuck doin' fuck all. Is that really what you want?"

"See this is where you and him are different. Drake understands, he doesn't tell me what to do."

"So this is what you want? He had no say in this?"

"We both want this. Now, if you don't mind could you finish drivin' me home or should I just get out and walk?" 

"You are so fucking naive Nic." He licked his lips and laughed coldly whilst shaking his head. He'd just started the car again and was about to tell her to shut her door when he heard it slam as she started walking away. "Shit." It didn't matter how many times he called out her name or held his hand on the horn she wouldn't stop walking and when she took a turn down an alleyway he couldn't follow anymore. She was gone.

Sat on the couch uncomfortably he caught the attention of both Sandi and Dennis who were watching TV after they'd finished unpacking.

"Look son, I'm sure she's fine-"

"The hell would you know?" He stood up as Sandi was about to call him out for his attitude but Dennis stopped her.

"Leave him, he's obviously just worried." Before anyone could say another word they heard the front door open and a teary eyed Nicki entered slowly. She was oddly quiet and tipped her head at everyone as they greeted her.

"Nicki dear, would you like something to eat?"

"No thanks, I'm tired. I think I'm just gon' go lay down for a bit." She gave them all an unconvincing smile and headed down to Drake's room with him hot on her heels. As he entered the room he saw her already curled up on top of the covers, her body shuddering as she cried.

"Nic, what's wrong? What happened?" She felt his weight ease down on the the bed behind her, his hand running along the length of her arm soothingly as he awaited a response.

"Please, I just wanna sleep Drake." Her voice was verging between a whisper and an actual sound as her throat cracked with fatigue. He never said anything, only got closer on to the bed and held her until she fell asleep.

***

To say she was having an off day was an understatement. She felt as sick as a dog and on top of that woke up at 3am and couldn't go back to sleep and now Drake was driving her miles around the city to show her a "surprise".

"Seriously? How much longer 'till we get there?" She snarled and continued to study her phone as he drove.

"Not long, promise." He paused for a second and looked over at her between keeping his eyes on the road. "Y'know if you put your phone down for a few minutes and kept your head up you might not feel so sick?"

"Please. Don't start tellin' me what to do." She did what he said anyway and frowned at the area around them. "Yo, why are here? This place is like, the slums."

"It is not, you're just bein' dramatic. I already told you this is where the surprise is." He turned the indicator on and pulled over right outside an apartment block. Covered in graffiti and almost every window was boarded up. She was right, it was a dump but it was all he could afford.

"Wait, why we stoppin'?" Her face was written with knowledge as she stared at him. "Don't tell me you've actually-"

"Look, don't judge it by the area. Let's at least take a look inside?" She knew he'd been planning something like this but honestly she thought it would be somewhere a little, safer. The look on his face tore at her heart-strings and she reluctantly unfastened her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. He met her on the sidewalk, clutching at her small hand as they walked in.

...

*I know it isn't long but I'm trying to update all three Dricki fics tonight as well as posting on at least three of my Onikafaree ones too :) Hope this was alrightish! Thanku for the comments on the sneak peek! ^__^*